So. We're getting close to pub date. REALLY close. And everyone is asking me if I'm excited because, you know, lifelong dream and all that. And I AM! I am SUPER excited! But I have to tell you that the excitement is tempered a bit by anxiety, because that's the kind of person I can be sometimes. I am absolutely thrilled my dream is coming true, but part of my dream is not just to get published, but to be able to someday, down the road (probably WAY down the road) make a living from writing. And how this book performs out in the world matters because the better it does, the closer I am to that next dream.
I know, I know. Savor the moment. Appreciate the journey. Baby steps. I know. I am so grateful to be where I am. I know what it's like to struggle and hope and think "If I could just get a book published, I'll be happy." But the truth is, I've been baby stepping for 25 years and this feels BIG, you guys. Just like when I wrote the darn book and started querying, it feels like it's now-or-never, shit-or-get-off-the-pot big. Spending the next 25 years baby stepping some more isn't exactly a super appealing option.
I'm also a bit anxious because I don't really enjoy being the center of attention out in public. I tend to be awkward and sweaty and chatty-to-hide-my-nerves. You know the type. An introvert trying to be extroverted is exhausting (for everyone involved!). Being onstage for even a few moments of local neighborhood fame is not really my thing. (Unless it's singing and dancing to 80s music when I've had a few cocktails. Then I'm totally fine with attention. Then, I'm all "Look at me! I'm the best. Singer. EVER" Which, trust me, I am NOT.) So this temporary focus on ME is a bit weird and uncomfortable.
So that's how I'm feeling. Excited. Sweaty. Grateful. Nervous. Happy. Tense. Exhausted. Energized. Pretty much all of the emotions.
Hang in there with me, friends. I'm a bit of a mess and need you now more than ever!
I figured I should check in here from time to time. You know, just to clear out the cobwebs. *cough cough* (Wow. It's a bit dusty.)
Friends, D-Day is getting very close. We are LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY from the release of ZENN DIAGRAM. I'm freaking out a little. Well, more than a little. It's been weird to have people reading and reviewing it, but it's going to be REALLY weird when all my friends and family start reading! Talk about being in a vulnerable and slightly uncomfortable spot! But ... this is what I have always wanted, so time to put my big girl pants on and suck it up!
I've gotten some really nice reviews from some major, national publications. You can check a few of them out on the ZENN DIAGRAM page. I've also got some reviews on Goodreads that leave me feeling frustrated and sad. I'm not supposed to read those. Everyone tells me not to. But sometimes I can't help it. This past weekend someone left a review that said she didn't like the "Insta-love" relationship between Zenn and Eva. Insta-love. I know what that is because I HATE it. It's when two characters fall in love, practically at first sight, and their relationship develops at light speed, often with no real explanation of why they are in love other than they are both (usually) exceptionally hot. Because I hate it so much, I thought I was particularly careful in developing Zenn and Eva's relationship to be about more than just a physical attraction. (Is there a physical attraction there? Sure. But I'd like to think there is more than that.) I won't get into specifics because I don't want to give away any spoilers, but after you read the book, let me know if you think it is insta-love. God, I hope not.
I recently saw a Tweet from a guy who said not to fret about reviews, because ... well ... here. You can read why yourself. It's pretty funny. So I'm going to try to think of those bad reviews as people who were disappointed that my book wasn't a 36-pack of Jimmy Deans sausage.
Thank you all for following along on my journey -- sorry I've been so spotty about checking in here. Follow me on Twitter (@wendyjobrant), Instagram (@wendyjobrant), or Facebook (/zenndiagram) for more regular updates!